Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
