I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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