You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
