i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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