I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
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When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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