spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
