hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
