You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
