I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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