He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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