I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
