i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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