Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
