wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
