Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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