Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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