my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Modeâ€. So. Many. Orgasms.
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