Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
