I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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