Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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