to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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