You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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