And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
