dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
