i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged