You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
