Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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