So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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