My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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