I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
