you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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