He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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