He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
