So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
