all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
