Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
did you just send me my own nude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
