a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
