Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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