so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
