Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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