Someone shit on the floor
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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