Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize