I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
