It's just like the Real World with babies
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
