after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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