dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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