Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
