DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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