We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
