Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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