you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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