Just cropdusted the office
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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