the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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