So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
