I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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