she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
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I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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