Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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