yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
