maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
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Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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